Memento Mori

I cannot sleep tonight
with shadows curling in darkening corners
the rush of insects flying in the night
crawling spiders and whistling mosquitos
The floor is hard and unyielding
it doesn't catch my tears (the way you would
if you were here)
I am anticipating missing you
tonight it seems not so real that you are close
It feels like you are many miles away
probably forgetting me even though we were friends
I hope it is not true
my imagination may be running away again
But I wanted to see you this evening
sitting in the sunny dusk with a warm breath of air
at our backs saying, memento mori
It is too bad that our paths didn't cross
I wish they had
meandered together like magnets or converging rivers
I did not expect to like you this summer
or even to think about you twice
How wrong I was.
I realize now, there is no going back.
Missing you is
a given.

I Love You

I hate confusion
I hate when you say something
and mean another
I hate when you lie
i hate the ticking clock,
the time
That tells me it's late for you
It's early yet for me and
i hate the hours that go by,
whispering that our days together
Are limited.
I hate the uncertain feeling
i get when your words are
short
When you don't meet my eyes and
your mouth is grim.
I hate so much
about this.
I hate the sun when
it shines on our anger
I hate the smile
that i miss on your face.        Oh hate!
It is much easier to hate than
to love.
So ready I am to hate the world
that pulls me away from you.
I forget so quickly
So quickly I forget:
     it isn't you I hate. No, no.
     i will not hate you. ever.
I only hate this life
These horrid circumstances
which make you sad, mean, and worried
I only hate the crowded
space in my heart that doesn't want to make room
My heart is so full it is hard to squeeze
you
In.
I only hate
the hated evil that
tears our fragile souls apart.
      I love you, my sweetest boy, I love you
i only hate
hating you.

Sky Hug

Sneaky eyes       racing my heartbeat
          sea glass            ,all different hues,  reflecting my smiling face
the cold prickle      tingly happiness in the bottom of my stomach
and a tiny piercing     pain in the center of my heart
( i now know why men think Love is
  a master archer, shooting erotic arrows
  into lonely bosoms. it feels thus when
  i see my lover's face, his hands — when
  i hear my lover's voice, his beating heart )
Adorably secret grin     making my eyes wide as the moon
           steady warmth       ,the most certain sensation,  holding me close
the softest question             I cannot respond. my lips yearn to answer
with a gentle pressure      with a tender promise            
 ( but he gave me a sky hug, and a kiss — and
     i now i don't miss him   quite as much )

4 Years

Four-year-old hearts
beat tender
and fragile with-in small chests.
Moth-wing words and
dew-drop conversations can
seduce a smile from the saddest child.
Silky curls
rose-petal cheeks and
spiderweb eyelashes,
butterfly kisses
and Wildflower eyes
Four-year-old souls
are stronger
than those who have withered with age.
Four-year-old angels
shine brighter
In heaven from whence
they came.

Truly Lost

There is beauty in things broken
until they are stripped bare of even the brokenness.
     Then, beauty has no foothold
     and the heart can change no more.
That broken beauty must be saved,
held on to with a fierce tenacity
For even the most fragmented soul
will find itself again
as long as that natural, inherent splendor
(the gentle knowledge of the majesty within)
is maintained.
     Only when that core of heavenly sentiment
     is forgotten,
only then
is a soul truly lost.

When the East is Golden

What can I do
with a beautiful sunrise That is
bound to make a perfect day?
Blushing skies with
Bubbles of bluey grey clouds
except where the sun is: those clouds
are gold.

Gilt edged rooftops and sparkling emerald grass,
silent trees waiting to be washed in splendid morning

The sidewalk counts its way to the edge of the
Spinning world, all the way to where the brightest star
pops up on the horizon
Making the nighttime dark flee swiftly into tomorrow
Flowing across the earth in light leaps and sunny somersaults

What can I do with a beautiful sunrise
That is bound to make a perfect day?
Can I capture it and put it in a box, just
a small box in my closet
Or should I snatch the marigold rays as they slant
across my window, and store them up in my soul?

Angels' Words

When the air is heavy and stifling
in heated apathy,
And wrinkles of breezes
warm the night,
I Whisper anxious thoughts
To the listening stillness, and
the tremors of my heart are quick
and real.
When crystal tears make salt-paths under
my violet eyelids,
And worries are pinioned to the sobs
in my breathing,
I Hear a gentle voice inside me, tuned
To the pocket called Soul. It
tells me I have no need to feel afraid or to
cry in bed
Tenderly,
as if an angel's golden words are flowing
into me
It tells me that
Time is fleeting, but love is forever
And I wouldn't mind
spending forever with you.