My Aphotic Mind

writhing in darkness as thick and impenetrable as wet cement
someone asked me a question — his stygian irises boring into my chilly core
i couldn't answer for a thousand days because i didn't understand
what he said — i was distracted by his fathomless voice so deep and rough
so algid
i wept when his hand touched mine — because it was so cold
maybe he was dead, i thought
so when i finally heard his question — so strange it was
he asked me who i loved — his ancient voice was afraid of the answer
i searched his terrifying face for the reason why
he cared
his deathly features waited in anxiety for my reply — i felt his icy hand in mine
each breath i drew was matched by my questioner — his lonely lips parted and trembling
prepared i was to answer in haste
to hear his inquiry in this darkened place and reply with my hands clenched in fists —
my guarded heart beating faster with defensive fear

i didn't know

— my fortifications shrinking within me —
how desolate this angry aphotic mind was — how alone

i couldn't answer for a thousand days
to tell him who i loved
and when i finally spoke my voice was soft and silky like the first rose of summer
i wept with each word
because his hand in mine was cold — like the snow that killed me

i do not love you —
i did not know
you cared

writhing in darkness as thick and impenetrable as wet cement
i will always be —
for i cannot forget his fathomless voice
so algid
but not with hate — oh no
his voice was cold — his hands were cold
with heartbreak